It's been a while and today I hate you even more.
Did you enjoy your work trip to Asia where your actual business day was a few hours long, while you spent the rest of your time doing luxurious things, like taking bubble baths, drinking yourself stupid, and eating all the Asian gluten that, apparently, doesn't affect you? Did you enjoy your two day vacation to Tokyo where you shopped and snapped pictures of buildings with names you recognize from the states?
Well, let me tell you about the fantastic time I had having to explain to your children — shocker, this never happens –why their useless fucking cunt rag of a mother didn't want to see them for the 44 hours she spent with her fat ass parked in bed, less than 5 fucking miles away.
Let me tell you how disappointed and confused they were when the math didn't work out in their heads…
"Wait, so mommy is coming back on Monday?"
"So we could see her on Tuesday?"
No, you'll see her Wednesday.
"Can we spend 10 days with her, since she was gone for 10 days and we were with you?"
Well, considering that in the past two years, every time she's left you with us she has only made up an extra day of the time she spends with you, I don't see it being any different this time, buddy.
"But that's not fair!"
If you feel so strongly about it, you should probably speak to her and tell her how you feel, and if she's ok with that, daddy and I will totally figure it out on our end.
Cue daddy texting her the day before she comes back to double check if she wants to see her kids a day early. Cue her passive aggressive message back saying she'd like to stick to the plan and she'll be jet lagged and k thx. 🖕🏼
"So, is mommy back now?"
Yep, she landed 5 hours ago.
"So, why can't we see her tomorrow?"
Because she said she'll be too tired, so well just drop you guys off on Wednesday morning.
And so on, and so forth.
They're starting to figure out that you don't give a shit about them or their feelings. It won't be long now until their hearts are all the way broken and their resentment boils.
See, if I was their biological mother and I was gone for any amount of time, I would request to have them brought to the damn airport, even if it's just to squeeze them. See, every time their father and I go out of town, we book our trips around their schedule and come get them from your piss palace the second we get our bags.
I'm not saying we're better than you. But we're totally better than you.
Then, you have the fucking audacity to text us at 11 fucking o'clock of the PM variety, hours before the drop off, to ask us to bring them before 8am, so you can spend time with them before your 9am meeting!?!?!?
You have lost your fucking mind, bitch.
Let me get this straight: You refuse to see them when you have a full day and a half off, and you want us to cater to your "motherly needs" when it's convenient to you. Riiight. So, I'll wake up my fucking infant, and your kids, just so you can shove them in front of a screen while you take pictures and videos of your outfits and post them on social media, only to leave them to spend your day with the nanny? Yeah, no.
You had them at 7:59am. Best we could do.
Go fuck yourself.